Why does it take a major life event or the anniversary of
such an event before we find the time to sit down and reflect on childhood memories? As things have unfolded since this past
Friday, I find myself thinking of some fond childhood memories - memories I could
have been sharing with my children.
My dad called me last week to let me know my grandmother,
his mother, had died.
Regrettably, I didn’t hear my phone ring so he left a brief message to
let me know and he asked me to call him back so he could fill me in on more. Well, it wasn’t until four hours later that I
got the message. I felt awful I wasn’t available when he called – I wasn’t
there for him. When I talked with him,
he was very composed, as he always is, and he shared with me how everything
unfolded. Unfortunately, he was not
there when she took a turn for the worse, and he got updates from his
brother.
My grandmother has been ill for quite some time, and the last several years she lived in a nursing home while suffering from dementia. I tried to remember the last time I saw her,
and honestly I can’t pinpoint that exact visit.
The last time I was ‘home’ to Missouri was in 2008, and I know she was
too ill at that time to join us for the holiday festivities. I don’t have many memories of time spent with
my grandmother because growing up we always lived out of state. My grandparents, both maternal and paternal,
are Missourians, and my family was constantly on the move. We started off in Missouri, but we moved all
over the place from Missouri to Tennessee to Missouri to Alabama to Missouri
back to Alabama. Then to Nebraska and
finally to West Virginia. We didn’t grow up near our extended family.
We’d travel home to Missouri for summer trips, Christmas
vacations, and some special occasions. Our
trips were always rushed and we would spend time with everyone. So we didn’t get a lot of individual time
with our grandparents. But I still have
memories from going to my grandparents’ house in Farmington. I have memories of airplanes across the field
at the local airport, the dog pens that lined the back of their yard, litters
of pups, sitting on their back porch, sitting in the strawberry patch eating as
many strawberries as I could, African violets, the wallpaper store, the craft
store, and German style potato salad.
My grandparents owned a wallpaper store and a craft
store. I remember going to the wallpaper
store and looking through books and books of wallpaper samples. I also remember visiting the craft store, oh
and getting in trouble for touching things. One specific memory I have was when
we went to the store and I got cotton pom poms and little plastic cup like
things so I could make mini ice cream sundaes.
My grandmother was always making little knickknacks. I still have several of the little ceramic knickknacks
that she took time to paint and gift me.
I have Easter eggs that we keep out year round, a bunny for Easter and a
jack-o-lantern with a mouse sitting on top of it for Halloween. There was a Big Bird statute, and I remember
my cousin and I were messing around and it got broke. Of course, we didn’t tell
anyone and when it was discovered that night at bedtime, I was quick to blame
my cousin - I’m pretty sure I broke it. That Big Bird has forever been a memory even
though I don’t still have it.
Most kids love their grandma’s chocolate chip cookies or
homemade pies, but the one thing I loved that my grandmother made was her
German style potato salad. I’ve tried
making it, but I don’t have her recipe and it never tastes quite the same. I remember many meals at my grandma’s and
that was the one thing I always looked forward to.
I joined my family this week in Missouri for my grandmother’s
funeral. I’ll be honest; I didn’t think
I would get upset since I didn’t have a traditional grandchild-grandparent
relationship with her. When I found out
she died, I cried for my dad’s loss more so than for mine. My dad still traveled periodically to visit
his mother and now that had been taken away from him. I have to admit, the moment I saw her, I lost
it. Apparently, the
grandchild-grandparent relationship is a strong bond regardless of how often
you physically see one another. My
grandmother may no longer be with us, but I will always have the memories.
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