The Vote . . .

The vote is over, but it seems very anti-climatic for me. I guess I had envisioned us on pins and needles anticipating a call regarding the final vote, and then in a joyous celebration sharing the news with the kids, calling our friends and family, and then going out to celebrate.

The call did come Sunday afternoon, but Jay heard the news via a voicemail because his phone didn't ring through. Then he informed me that both churches voted yes. The kids were out playing with friends - we didn't even go find them to share the news. Neither of us discussed it nor did we pick up phones and start calling to shout out the news that the churches voted yes. We went about our day cleaning, shopping, and delivering phonebooks. Every once in a while we'd bring it up, but I never got that excited feeling making me want to share the news with everyone.

It's all very bitter sweet . . . .

While we were out in Bismarck we met some great people. We felt very comfortable with the people we spent our time with. It is a great place. It is a nice area to raise a family. There seems to be so much there to offer a family. There is a lot of history there. There are several small colleges for the kids' higher education. There is so many wonderful things there, but to move my family there means certain things have to feel right. All those other things are great, but for me there are a few things I think are more important and have to be the focus of any final decision.

Many have wondered if we are okay with this assignment in Western North Dakota. As I have shared with many of you, we tried to be meticulous about ranking our preferences. Prior to selecting our preferences, I did research on cost of living, homeschool laws and opportunities, and synod compensation guidelines for various areas we were interested in. We have always loved the Colorado area and would love to return there. But we know from personal experience what the cost of living is there and when comparing the compensation guidelines, we knew it was not feasible for us to move there -- let alone, it is almost impossible to get placed in the Rocky Mountain Synod because everyone wants to go there.

So, we discussed going west and then in three to five years if we still wanted to go to Colorado we could put in mobility papers to get to the mountains again. Well, after the initial interview process when we went to North Dakota the first week of May, we talked more about not wanting to go through this in three to five years. So now our desire for this initial call is more than what we had originally thought it would be. We are not looking for that typical first call that lasts only 3 - 5 years. We want to be somewhere and put roots down to call home. I DO NOT want to go through this whole process again any time soon, especially after moving some place new.

When it comes to, uh life I guess, I am the practical one and certain things are black and white for me while for Jay, he is the faithful one and is 100% willing to leave everything up to God. Now with that said, the few things that are of concern to me with this scenario are finding adequate housing, our survival, and the longevity. What do I mean? Well, we had agreed once we knew the financial component (the compensation package) of the Call we would evaluate it and see if it is doable within our needs. Unfortunately, the black and white of it is . . . we will be financially strapped. When we returned from our trip we even told the kids that, warning them there would be a need for some change. One of the ways to alleviate the financial concern is for me to find a part-time job, which I'm not opposed to; however, it would have to be in the evening so we could still maintain our home education. If I were to work in the evening means I would miss out on the kids' extracurricular activities and church functions and Jay would have to find a way to balance the kids' and churches' activities. Bless his little - I mean BIG - heart, Zack offered to go get a job to help out.

Within that financial component is the housing concern. There is an amount designated for housing and unfortunately it has restricted us from finding adequate housing. What is adequate housing. For me, it is being able to live comfortably with a roof over our heads and not being so cramped we can't sanely survive. We have three older kids that are looking to have their own quiet space, but the girls would be able to share a room if it is big enough. So we are looking for a 3-4 bedroom house. Okay, just to give you an idea, some of the 3 bedrooms we looked at or inquired about have 900 - 1075 sq. ft. and we couldn't find any 4 bedrooms within the budget.

Okay, so I have addressed the survival (compensation) and the housing concerns. Now for the other concern. The longevity. Like I mentioned, we are looking for something long term. There was a comment made, during our visit, about the church being spread thin and a concern about being capable of making salary with the outlined compensation package. So, when we inquired about the sustainability the only response we could get was a hope to sustain but not a guarantee. I am sorry, but I - the practical one - cannot uproot my family to some place new and have that worry in the back of my mind. I don't want to be worrying if Jay's paycheck is going to come on time every pay period. And then if they can't sustain the compensation, then what? We'd have to does this all over again.

Okay, I have been rambling forever and for what - I guess this was my therapy . It is what it is and now we are faced with an important and very difficult decision. All I want is a place to call home that will allow for us to maintain our current family choices. I love being a full-time stay home mom, I love sharing the joys and sorrows of everyday life and being a part of their lives everyday, and I love being the one to see them light up when they learn something new as we learn together as a homeschool family.