Well, I'm not sure what to say other than there still is no official news on Jay's ordination or an upcoming move.
We, at least Jay & I, are feeling the immense pressure of uncertainty. We still have not been able to find a suitable house to call home. Do you know how difficult it is to try and find rental properties when there is 1,200+ miles between where we are at and where we need to go? The distance isn't the only factor that is making this search for a place to live difficult . . . the fact that the whole Bismarck/Mandan metropolitan area is not as populous as we're accustomed to presents its own challenges. For example, I picked up the Columbus Dispatch rental property section yesterday and was amazed at the 100s of houses to rent all over the Columbus Metro area. To compare that to the handful of rentals in the Bismarck/Mandan area, one can understand why this search has been extremely difficult.
We had gotten excited about what we thought could be a potential house to rent in the rural area of Lincoln, ND, but - yes, there's that BUT - it's a three bedroom (Master = 12 x 12 and the other two are 10 x 10), kitchen (10x10), one bathroom, first floor laundry, and open floor plan for the living room/dining room and we're not quite sure our furniture will fit (3 piece sectional and our 7 ft. country farm table). The individual that checked it out for us sent pictures and measurements and even said the house is quite small. I don't know if it would be adequate for our family, especially the age/size of our children (they're not babies or toddlers - they're pretty big and getter bigger every day) and our 130 lb. dog (which the homeowner is okay with). Could you imagine one bathroom with a teenage daughter and a pre-teen daughter. OUCH!! Don't forget the tween boy - what do boys do in there, never mind I shouldn't have asked. On top of that, put two girls in a 10x10 room, who are we kidding? Remember, I just want to live sanely and comfortably. Anyway, the housing dilemma still hasn't worked itself out.
This whole "process", if you will, has taken its toll on me, I can only imagine how it has affected Jay. I just don't get it. Back in May when the first round of churches didn't work out we went and talked with the president of seminary for some guidance. He expressed the importance of having a very candid conversation with the bishop and discuss the reassignment process. Well, at that time the bishop wasn't sure what, if anything, he had available for churches in need. Part of our concern is Jay & my health insurance, which is coverage through the seminary, ends on August 31, 2009. So there was and is a sense of urgency to find a job, if you will, so we have insurance. After a couple of weeks the bishop presented this congregation and made it clear if this didn't work out this was the last opportunity he had for Jay/First Call congregation.
Here's my problem . . . Jay interviewed via web cam/Skype on June 16 (pushed back from June 10). We just learned that Jay could have requested for release from the assignment as of June 15 (90 days after his synod assignment) "when no possible call opportunities are imminent." Is a call opportunity imminent when the congregation can't afford a full-time pastor on their own and they have to team up with another congregation to financially support a pastor? Seriously was this a fair scenario for the bishop to consider Jay for knowing the finances of this congregation? Now what? If this doesn't work out what are we left with? Well, according to the ELCA's website, Jay has missed the deadline to submit his paperwork for reassignment in the church wide assignment consultation because an unfair call opportunity was presented.
Why do I think it is unfair? Well to begin with, Jay submitted paperwork stating he is looking for a full-time pastor position. This congregation can not afford a full-time pastor compensation package, so in order to make it work, they needed to pair up with another church in the Bismarck area that would be willing to utilize part of Jay's time and pay (by contract) a part of the compensation package. Was it fair for the bishop to hold on to Jay knowing that this whole thing would not work if the other church voted not to hire a part-time youth pastor? Granted they didn't vote no, they too voted yes, but there's still the issue of the compensation not being at synod guidelines. I know they are only guidelines, but they are there for a reason. The ELCA stresses the importance of a healthy congregation and in order to have a healthy congregation there are several things that should be in-line. They talk about having a healthy pastor. Well, if the pastor and his family are behind the eight ball because of the compensation package then how can the pastor be healthy. Let alone if the congregation spreads themselves thin to meet a compensation package then that congregation is not healthy. Really. Do you see my concern here?
This whole scenario reminds me of the Adamsville Parish where Jay served his last two years of seminary. We loved the people, we loved the church, we loved the community, but the bottom line was they couldn't afford a full-time pastor. It wasn't fair for us to ask them to financially strap themselves to extend a Call to Jay (which they had made it perfectly clear they would have loved to Call him) and it wasn't fair to us for them to expect us to take a compensation package less than we could survive on.
The people we met at Peace Lutheran in Lincoln, ND were wonderful people. All the people we met at First Lutheran in Bismarck, ND were wonderful people. Everyone we met or talked to was friendly. They smiled when you made eye contact. They waved as you passed by. The city/town area was full of wonderful things to see and do. Tons of shopping. Jay and I agree, this would be a great place to live, a great place to raise our family, and a great place to call home. I know we would love to see this work out because of the people and the area. But it has to be a good fit for all parties involved.
Anyway, the days are numbered and we are exhausted. If this was meant to be would we be struggling so hard to find a place to live? Let alone to be able to afford it. When it seems like there's light at the end of the tunnel . . . BAM . . . there's another road block. I have to be honest, with all this frustration I'm wondering if we did the right thing. I mean we gave up our perfect dream home, Jay gave up a great upper management position that was lucrative and had great benefits, we moved in with family, we have made sacrifice after sacrifice so Jay could pursue his Call to serve, but for what. All I see are the headaches, the arguments, the uncertainty, and the stress that we have endured over the last few months and we still have no place to put our roots and call home.
2 comments:
My thoughts & prayers are with you guys. I would offer the place we are renting but it wouldn't be a good fit for you guys either. Small house, one bathroom, etc. We have loved it because it's in the country - kids have freedom, we have animals, etc. but the house itself leaves MUCH to be desired. The well is always broke down, the sewer sometimes breaks... if only there was a different house on the property.
I wonder.. have you considered a mobile home and putting it in that park right by the church? Lincoln Meadows I think it's called... You could buy the home so it would be yours, you could have your dog, you would have a small house but with at least 3 bedrooms and TWO FULL baths.... AND the house could be easily sold or moved when the time came that you didn't need it or didn't want to live there anymore. This is actually what we are doing for our move from Bismarck to Dickinson. We have not been able to find ANYTHING to rent that is suitable for our family, so we're going the mobile home route. We figure in a year if we're happy with it we will move it onto property we can own, put it on a permanent foundation perhaps a basement, add on a room or two, whatever works for us, and it's "ours".
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