"When are you moving?" "Do you know anything, yet?"

Those are the basic questions we get day in and day out.

Let us review . . . on February 18, 2009 Jay, the kids, and I joined his classmates for a prayer service at seminary where everyone found out which of the nine synods he or she had been assigned to. Jay was assigned to the ELCA's Region 3 which includes the fine states of Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota. We were excited because he was placed in the region of our first choice (preference). Now we had to wait to see if we got the synod of our preference, which was to be decided at the region 3's Synod Assembly, where the bishops of that region, nine in all I believe, decided where Jay's gifts would be better used.

So we waited . . .

On March 5, 2009 Jay received a phone call from the bishop of Western North Dakota welcoming him to his synod. Okay, we were a little shocked and had to catch our breath. As many of you know, we, at least I, truly had our hearts set on South Dakota as it would put us (ME especially) geographically closer to my family. We want to go west of the Mississippi River, but I had my heart on getting a little closer to my family so the kids, as they are older and growing up too fast, could hopefully spend a lot more time with their grandparents and aunts and uncle before we all blink and they are off to college or on their own. I have to be honest, I was truly disappointed because of many things like not getting closer to my family and then there is the homeschool laws, more like restrictions of ND. But I knew in my heart this too would be okay (it wasn't an overnight realization) - we could travel to my parents' house, which we can't do much of now because of newspaper delivering which I will hopefully not have to do when we move and as a veteran (if there is such a thing) homeschool mom, I could help advocate change in the ND homeschool laws. So, I was ready for this too.

A couple of weeks later, Jay had a brief telephone conversation with his bishop, kind of a get to know him thing to help him understand what Jay's ministry is or what Jay wants it to be. Obviously in this conversation, Jay expressed his eagerness to get out into parish ministry and continue preaching and being able to provide for his family. He expressed a sense of urgency in the next step of this bureaucratic, if I might add, process because his contract with the congregation where he was serving was to expire on May 24, 2009. We were anxious about getting on with our lives.

Finally, mid April there were some congregations that the bishop had selected for Jay to interview with -- see what I mean about bureaucratic. Jay can't approach a congregation in need of a pastor without going through these bureaucratic hoops. Oh wait, in the Lutheran denomination, he is not considered a pastor until he is ordained which doesn't happen until he receives his first Call from a Lutheran church to affirm his Calling. Forget the fact that for the last two years he has served as a solo Vicar (for all Lutheran purposes) of a two point parish where he was given special dispensation to distribute the Eucharist. For all in tense purposes, and if you were to ask those members, they called him their pastor for the last two years. He served them well doing everything that an ordained Lutheran pastor does except marrying. He preached, led service, led Bible studies, instructed First Communion, instructed Confirmation, visited shut-ins, visited members and non-members of the community, visited hospitalized individuals, gave a shoulder and guidance to those in need, etc. - need I say more. So why is he still being considered a seminary graduate seeking his first Call? Isn't it enough that after his first year of service, which originated because of his internship, the Adamsville Parish invited him to stay and preach and serve their community until he graduated. If they didn't feel he was gifted and Called to serve the Lord, I don't think they would have requested him to continue to serve there. So, doesn't or shouldn't that count as affirmation that he has been Called to serve the Lord?

Sorry about that . . . back to our review and update.

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah . . . May 4-6, 2009 we flew out to western North Dakota where Jay interviewed with two potential congregations. One went with the other candidate and the other we didn't feel was a good fit so we expressed our gratitude for their hospitality but declined any further relationship. Finally on May 23, 2009 Jay graduated from Trinity Lutheran Seminary with his Masters of Divinity. Well, what does he have to show for it at this moment? Nothing but frustration. He already has an English degree that he never got to use. Here's hoping he gets to put this one to good use.

So, to recap . . . it's been over four months since the region assignment, over three months since the synod assignment, and over one month since his graduation and he is still searching, no let me rephrase that, he is waiting for a church to extend a call to him on this journey. As you can tell by the tone of this, I am extremely disappointed and very discouraged. I commend Jay for his strength, faith, courage, and patience because he is having to do double duty right now for the both of us.

I admit I am the realist and the pessimist, and all I can see in front of me is the domino effects of the fact that there is not an income coming in to continue to support the basic needs of our family. I am so disappointed and feel we let our children down too, as we did not register them in things they normally take part in during the summer season as we thought we would be beginning our new life somewhere else. So, they have and are missing out on summer sports, summer art classes, summer drama classes, summer camps, just good old summer activities they have done over the years. And for what? We are still here. Stuck with no future in sight.

I feel so sad right now for Jay and for us because a decision is going to have to be made about what to do about our future. We all know with the current economy how difficult it is to find employment, so even if we decide for him to seek employment back in the food industry so he can support the family what are the odds that he'll find something. He is truly gifted and I believe preaching the Gospel is what he is meant to do as he enjoys it and it seems to come naturally to him, but the reality of it is without a church there is not a way to support the family. We are all ready to have our own home. Have our own yard. Have our own space. We are ready to have our belongings out of storage. We are truly blessed and thankful for Jay's parents letting us take up in their home, but our time here has expired and we are all ready for a new time in our lives. But one question still remains, "Where? "